So this is me!

I am a terribly focused individual and I am not at all bored - not sure where that came from!
Added later: Oh right! I was bored at work because I was waiting on other people - in life I am not at all bored!

I fuck other guys for money and work a full time and a part time job because my goal is to buy my own home and the 2 bedroomed cottage I looked at yesterday is £250,000 - I currently live in a tiny one bedroomed flat that doesn't even have hot water nor does it have a lease and the landlord's a bit dodgy.

My other goals are to succeed in business - which is happening, but as anyone who has their own business knows this takes time and effort and hey presto, money!

I screwed another bloke not because I am bored in my relationship - indeed I have a fun and interesting time with my partner, we do a lot more together than any couple I know, despite working a combined 120 hours per week. I did it because I am an attention seeker and my partner is the "strong silent type" and we have miss-matched sex drives.

Anything else you want to know, just ask - don't assume!

I never lost my job - just had my hours cut a bit but as it's a second job that's no biggie. Still working at least 45 hours per week - usually nearer 55, so not a lot of time for whoring anyway.

I'm bored!

So I decide to stalk Daniel - I know he's got a Bebo, so I logged on then realise I've had a profile with nothing on it for almost 4 years.

I understand contacting a married man is a no-no even if he did tell me his name, that he had a Bebo and it was me who took my card off him ... I just wanted to check out his profile - which I couldn't actually get into as I'm not his friend - but I saw his picture and was relieved to see he was as good looking as I remember (Mr. Annoying - who looks like Kung Fu Panda had said he was ugly and I was super pished.)

Anyway I completed my profile and then decided to see if my partner has one ... he does and it's active and there's no mention of me on it AND he was on at 10am this morning! I was going to add him as a friend but then I figured if he's using that all the time and not telling me does that mean he's flirting with other women?

Here I am not only doing what I've done in the past for money (which to my mind is justifiable) but also cheating on him and checking out the guy I cheated with - which is terrible and completely immoral and I think he's just flirting, but he has 13 friends ... 1 cousin, 1 male, the other 11 blonde beauties and I felt so betrayed!

How is that possible? I am loads worse than him (I hope) but then he has gone off "to the gym" and is uncontactable how do I know he's really at the gym and not with one of those floozies?

This is a weird situation to be in, until Friday I'd never looked at another guy (well not since we became "boyfriend and girlfriend" over 2 years ago) but now I have and I know things are not all 100% between us. He's my absolute best friend in the whole world and there's no person I'd rather spend the rest of my life with - but the sexual chemistry isn't there and never has been. Everything else is perfect, I love him, he loves me, we have a home and our pets and our families love each other and on Monday we were planning our wedding. I do want to be with him forever and ever but I just wish there was that zing there which Daniel reminded me I used to have with other boyfriends who I didn't care a hoot about - This is really really horrible and I don't know what to do!