Well I had the most amazing week away, it was so lovely, no money worries or other stress, no getting up for work before 6am - just relaxing in a gorgeous cottage and walking for miles each day with our dogs.

I came back to a request from the guy I think we called D1, and I turned him down, was meant to be visiting him for an hour on Wednesday and I didn't. I wasn't feeling too good, but also I think after the week away and not needing money I'd kidded myself I could survive without that root of all evils - pah! I mean I didn't say "no, never again" I am after all a business woman at heart! but I did turn down £100 for an hour's work ... unfortunately I got paid today and when I checked my account I was £228.35p OVER my £1,800 overdraft limit - so obviously those bastards at the bank will charge me an extra £35 plus interest plus £35 if anything else bounces before I can get money to my account!

Not only that I turned the guy down because of a sense of loyalty, I felt awful for "cheating" on my boyfriend (I mean I know there's no emotional attachment but he's a bloke and we all know when it comes to affairs women are hurt by emotions and men are hurt by someone else going on their territory!) But the thing is my bloody boyfriend is just not interested in me physically at all at the moment - I got it Sunday morning because I practically forced him into it and when I tried it on last night he caused an argument and I ended up on the sofa ... how frigging fair is that?! I totally felt like "confessing" just to hurt him last night, but reason prevailed (for now) - but no way am I apologising and no way am I ever, ever going to proposition him again ... he works a lot and his drives not that great but if he can manage to wank (which he does) he can manage to make an effort for his girlfriend, it's not like he can't, he just won't!

And the other thing pissing me off about my bloody bloke is he doesn't appreciate the way I look. Now he does have a really great body, but he's slightly obsessive about it and he expects me to be the same. Now I can get paid £100 per hour for a bloke to drool over my body - now I'm no Kiera Knightly but I can't be that bad surely? Yet my boyfriend all but calls me a fat pig, if I try and eat a cake or sweetie he's there "jokingly" teasing me. If I decide to not go to the gym and stay home to cook his bloody dinner and clean up his bloody mess I'm "slacking off" - seriously I am getting so annoyed with him this week I am thinking that Soapy Suzie might become a bit of a leisure activity too, coz lets face it if my own boyfriend feels the need to compare me to unrealistic women (honestly he thinks film starts are real!) then I'm going to go and get an ego boost from men who know what other real women look like naked ... my dear boyfriend never saw a real live woman naked when he was sober before he met me! You never know it might even save my relationship coz the way that selfish buggers made me feel this week I'm close to ending it with him, I need to be appreciated and complimented or else I might as well indulge in the pleasure of junk-food and idleness, no point staying gorgeous for me - that's just what women who can't get a bloke say!