I've been very snappy at my poor boyfriend lately, I think I'm feeling guilty and subconciously trying to put the blame on him that I've taken to whoring out my body.

Obviously he's not at all to blame, he'd be horrified if he knew what I was up to and he works hard to pay for our future - it's not really his fault we spend over £60 per week on petrol and hundreds on gas, electric, rent, insurance, student loans and even bloody food now all the prices are going up!

He's also told me he'd be happy to live forever in our tiny little home if it meant being with me, but I'm going crazy with the lack of space and it always seems to be untidy because there's too much stuff and not enough cupboards! We've not even got hot water at the moment because the boiler's blown - it's a wash in the sink from water out the kettle or a trip to the gym to use the showers there at the moment (so I'm spending a lot of time at the gym!)

I don't know I kind of figured I'd sell my body a few times and hey presto we'd have a house, but obviously it's not going to work like that - got to pay off the overdraft first. My wages are doing that slowly though and the ill-gotten money's going to the bills. It'll still take time, but maybe only a year instead of the four we'd anticipated.

I'm wondering about what my boyfriend will think when I give the whoring up, I'm hoping I'll have a pay rise in the day job by then but it's unlikely to be an extra £100 - £200 a week, he's not noticed the extra money but maybe he'll notice it when it goes ... oh well thats a bridge I'll cross when I get there!

Got some good feedback today, a "thank you" note from Saturday's visit, telling me once again how beautiful I am and that he'd like to meet again in 4 weeks time - it'd be nice to build up a few regulars who I know won't beat or rape or murder me. See them each once a month - yeah that'd be a good way to earn my keep.